这是一本前所未有难以理解的福音书。第一次阅读这本书，所以在阅读的过程中我十分的纠结。因为我从来没有在其他的福音书里面读到过耶稣的心理状态。在其他福音书里，我记得深刻的就是耶稣说：你们这些小信的人呐。可在这本福音书里，我读到了耶稣洞察人心后的无奈，伤心，和他对自己命运和死亡的坦然和顺服。
我没有敢仔细把这本福音书读下来。我害怕。我总是害怕。明明在圣经里说了，来自圣灵的力量，有神做盾牌，不要害怕。以前我不会把害怕挂在嘴边，死的动物，恶心的画面，鬼片，或者灵异片我都是一概宣称我不怕。但，自从那次帮别人deliverence，自从真的知道撒旦的存在， 真的感受到害怕的感觉之后，我便把这两字挂在了嘴边。
神啊，请给我力量，让我克服掉这样的恐惧。
如果 你 碰巧也在读约翰福音，如果你也有触动，我会为你祷告，让神打开你的耳朵，使你能明白其中的奥秘。如果你不明白，不要紧，不着急，马太福音7:7怎么说的，神就如何的赐给你。
让我分享一下我觉得精彩的章节，还有关于耶稣所爱的门徒的这个有趣的细节。 Continue reading
Before I share my thoughts about this passage, I would like to state a testimony. God spoke to me and instructed me to read the bible specifically. Really specific.. Really specific. . Really specific.! 重要的事情说三遍。 So, the whole story goes like this. This morning, I was trying to make a reading plan for one year Bible and searched and printed out a resources page (Click here for the calendar list if you are interested).. But the plan is for 2016, you know, I just saved a Word file and printed it out, and wait for 2016 to come. This afternoon, I visited a friend from the church (Mr. W) to pick up my pink 冰糖葫芦 pen. I told him that I was enjoying listening to sermons because they are interesting and easy to access. Just play a podcast while you are working, or tidying your room. He said reading Bible is more important than listening to sermons, and I should be spending more time reading the bible instead of listening to sermons. OK, I thought. But, God is not Ok with me just thinking ok. Later, during a conversation with another friend (Darling C), she felt that God is encouraging me to read the Bible, and she would like to be my reading inspector. When do you want to start, she asked. Today, I said, I am going to read 1 John 1-2. That is too long, she said, you need to be more focus. Then 1 John it is.
I opened the app Bible on my cell phone and started to listen to that passage while pasting the printed schedule on my notebook, my magnificent 2016 year plan. Sudden, a question comes to my mind, you see, 1 John is at the very end of the bible, and the bible plan I have instructed me to read old testament in the morning and new testament at night, which means… I looked through these papers in front of me.
Woo..
God, I heard you. I am going to read the Bible and hear what you want to say to me. Thank you for being so direct to me even I was complaining why I felt you don’t talk to me these days. Thank you!
———–华丽的分割线————
有很多可以分享的想法，这里只挑重点：
1 John 1: 5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.
I recalled the time that I was so terrified after praying for a friend who was demonized. I thought the demon was going to come to me. Those two nights, I could not sleep. I found funny when I look back, how naive. I should have read the Bible earlier. I should try to seek God’s words earlier. I should know He is the light, in Him, why I am afraid of the darkness? Darkness should be afraid of Him.
1 John 1: 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
This reminds me of the conversation I had with a classmate who claims that a good life is to enjoy the moment and have fun with the girls. A Christian life is never an easy life. I don’t want any of those images and those lifestyles. I want to be like Jesus, and I want to live the right way. I want to make God happy, and I know He teaches me the rules for my own good.
I pray that God could guide me walking in the light, teach me how to be a better person, prepare me to serve Him in the near future. In Jesus name, AMEN.
*Joy Life* 