这是一本前所未有难以理解的福音书。第一次阅读这本书，所以在阅读的过程中我十分的纠结。因为我从来没有在其他的福音书里面读到过耶稣的心理状态。在其他福音书里，我记得深刻的就是耶稣说：你们这些小信的人呐。可在这本福音书里，我读到了耶稣洞察人心后的无奈，伤心，和他对自己命运和死亡的坦然和顺服。
我没有敢仔细把这本福音书读下来。我害怕。我总是害怕。明明在圣经里说了，来自圣灵的力量，有神做盾牌，不要害怕。以前我不会把害怕挂在嘴边，死的动物，恶心的画面，鬼片，或者灵异片我都是一概宣称我不怕。但，自从那次帮别人deliverence，自从真的知道撒旦的存在， 真的感受到害怕的感觉之后，我便把这两字挂在了嘴边。
神啊，请给我力量，让我克服掉这样的恐惧。
如果 你 碰巧也在读约翰福音，如果你也有触动，我会为你祷告，让神打开你的耳朵，使你能明白其中的奥秘。如果你不明白，不要紧，不着急，马太福音7:7怎么说的，神就如何的赐给你。
让我分享一下我觉得精彩的章节，还有关于耶稣所爱的门徒的这个有趣的细节。
John 3:16-21 【16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”】
6:35; 44 【35 And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst. … 44 No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.】
8:6-12 罪人定罪犯奸淫罪的妇人，耶稣说，你们谁没有罪谁就第一个扔。最后耶稣说，孩子我也原谅你，不要在犯罪，走吧。（注意细节，开始耶稣在地上写字！LOL）
9:25,39【25 He answered and said, “Whether He is a sinner or not I do not know. One thing I know: that though I was blind, now I see.” 39 And Jesus said, “For judgment I have come into this world, that those who do not see may see, and that those who see may be made blind.”】
10:17-18 【17 “Therefore My Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it again. 18 No one takes it from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This command I have received from My Father.”】
11:8-10 犹太人想杀你你还要去？在黑暗中行走会跌倒。耶稣让Lazarus复活。
12:27-28 【27 “Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour. 28 Father, glorify Your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, saying, “I have both glorified it and will glorify it again.】
13:6-10 耶稣帮门徒洗脚，彼得的直性子 34-35【34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”】
14:6-7 26-27【6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. 7 “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him.”… 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 】
15:11-17, 19 New command, love one another.【19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.】
17章是耶稣的祷告，20章和21章写的太感人了！(I have to admit that after reading John, I felt Jesus is really talkative… and John has good memory).
这本书里提到了膏抹耶稣的玛利亚，不禁让我想起“达芬奇的密码”。于是我Wiki了一下耶稣所爱的门徒，出来的结果很有意思。不知道能不能算是约翰的“自己戴高帽”？John 13:24-25; 19:25-27; 20:1-4; 21:4-7; 21:19-23; 21:24. 特别注意在John 13:24-25，这个耶稣最爱的门徒靠在耶稣怀里！我！也！要！【23 Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. 24 Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask who it was of whom He spoke.25 Then, leaning back on Jesus’ breast, he said to Him, “Lord, who is it?”】
Wiki上是这么写的：
下面这个Resource也很有意思，以下摘抄来自： http://www.godsword7.net/MSB08.htm
作書者：
『作者在本書中一直未曾表明他是誰，直至本書之最後21:21,24，他才提到他是「耶穌所愛的門徒」，就是使徒約翰。他是耶穌最親密的朋友。古時的遺傳和其後一直不變的意見都承認他是本書的作者。』（聖經手冊669頁）。『從最早基督教世紀開始，幾乎毫無例外的第四本福音都一直被公認為使徒約翰所寫。』(SDA聖經註釋第五卷891頁)。
使徒約翰在本書內一直不提自己名字（為約1:35中二個門徒之一），唯有五次稱自己是『耶穌所愛的那門徒』（13:23. 19:26. 20:2. 21:7,20）。這幾次提到自己的事情都是很有意義的：
第一次是在吃逾越節晚餐時，主明說有一個人要賣主了，在彼得授意下，『耶穌所愛的……那門徒便就勢靠近耶穌的胸膛，問他說：主阿，是誰呢？』（約13:23-25）。由此可見，約翰和主耶穌之間的關係是何等親密！
第二次是在十字架下，主將自己的母親馬利亞交託『祂所愛的那門徒』，要他接待、奉養她，如同自己的母親。（約19:26,27）。由此又可見，主對約翰是何等的信任！
雖然主耶穌自己也有幾個弟兄，然而主卻沒有將母親交託他們奉養，而卻交託約翰來奉養。這可能是因為他們不是馬利亞所生的（參馬可福音附釋六），而且直到那時他們還沒有信主（約7:3-5）。母親和他們住在一起，得不到心靈上的安慰和幫助。不過主被釘、復活之後，祂的弟兄也都悔改信主了。（林前15:7.加1:19.雅1:1.猶1.）。再說主耶穌和約翰之間也可能有親戚關係。約翰『父親的名字叫西庇太（太4:21）。他的母親似乎就是撒羅米（太27:56.可15:40）。再與約19:25 對照，看出她可能是耶穌的母親馬利亞的一位姊妹。如果是的，那麼約翰便是耶穌近親的表兄弟。』（聖經手冊670 頁）。再者，約翰的家道也屬小康，足有力量供養馬利亞。（可1:16-20.約18:15,16）
第三次是在主復活時，馬利亞因『看見石頭從墳墓挪開了，就跑來見西門彼得和耶穌所愛的那個門徒』（約20:1,2）。由此可見，約翰和門徒之間的親密關係！
第四、五次提到『耶穌所愛的那門徒』，是在主復活後，某次在加利利海邊向七個門徒顯現時。（約21:7,20）。當時主論到『耶穌所愛的那門徒』曾對彼得說了這樣一句話『我若要他等到我來的時候與你何干？你跟從我罷。』是的，主對祂每一個門徒一生的道路都各有最美好的旨意和安排。彼得和其他眾使徒最後都為主光榮殉道了，而約翰則在滾沸的油鍋中神奇地蒙拯救，後來在拔摩海島流放的生活中，又蒙恩在異象中得見主得國駕雲降臨的榮耀情景（主後95-96年）。最後又被釋放回到以弗所，寫下了啟示錄書以及約翰一、二、三書。
*Joy Life* 