My trip to Japan has come to the end. Now is the valuable family time in China. I thank God for preparing me in quitting my bad habits before I get home. Now I do not need to head out for “fresh air”, and do have plenty of time to spend with my mum. But the longer I stay with her, the easier I get angry. When I am by myself, no one can yell at me or blame me for anything. These yellings have become my current daily routine.

I don’t want to be mad, and I do not wish to ruin the “peacefulness”. What can I do!!!

Anyhow, I try to find peace with God. I know He wants me to be kind, patient, and thoughtful. I will try to not to let Him down.

<3【On the Road】Claire in Japan: I tried to pray for a lady in the SevenEleven because her hands have severe burn marks. But she could not speak English and I don’t speak Japanese. While leaving the store, I felt and I knew the devil behind me would make me fall. Indeed, I fell off the stairs on my way to my friend and broke my Ferragamo.

Don’t cry, Claire. It’s just a Ferragamo. I fixed my shoes on a nail in the wall. My soul was trembling, trembling, trembling. I was terrified. Because I felt again, the existence of the evil force. Jesus, my savior. Please come, be with me through the journey.

接下来发生的并不是揭开第七印，而是在上帝的奴仆，以色列各支派，额上盖永活上帝的印。(´･_･`) 为什么要先帮以色列人盖章。为什么其他各族各国的人没有被盖章？以色列是被拣选的名族，那和我们有什么不同？

Revelation 7: 17 因为在宝座中央的羔羊 要做他们的牧人， 引导他们到生命之泉那里， 上帝要擦干他们所有的眼泪。7 for the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to living fountains of waters. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

这里的人和前面的祭坛下的灵魂应该是不同的吧。那我在那时应该是灵魂？还是穿着白衣的在天国的人？这些人应该是已经离开人世的基督徒吧。

【On the road】Claire leaving town. Where do you consider HOME? Where can you find the sense of secure? Do you feel being loved?

In this Christmas season, we are celebrating, the light of the world.

书读百遍其义自现，上帝的话语在圣经中是相互呼应的。

Revelation 6: ¹¹ Then a white robe was given to each of them; and it was said to them that they should rest a little while longer, until both the number of their fellow servants and their brethren, who would be killed as they were,was completed. ¹¹ 于是有白袍赐给他们各人，又有话吩咐他们要安息一会儿，等到那些与他们同作仆人和弟兄，像他们一样将要被杀的人，凑满了数目的时候。

这是说，上帝知道最后会有多少人么？还是不能理解，全能的上帝，明明知道我们最后是否会相信他，还是让不信的人来，然后得不到永生。有点难以理解… 💔

只是今天应该没有时间把自己的想法记录下来。心里觉得很可惜，因为听podcast也颇有收获。好害怕自己没有记录下来转头就忘了。

神啊我向你祷告，我希望你挪去我担心自己有一天会忘记你的话语的忧虑。我希望从内心深处明白，你的话语永不变，我时常可以学习，不至于忧虑。我感谢你在我旅途中得那么多细节上，照顾着我，在我每一个空挡，教导我引领我。谢谢你，阿门！

今天在旅途的路上。随身带着了Sis A 给我的这章经文的Bible study handout，受益匪浅！我也想要成为一头小狮子~ 有羔羊般的温顺~ （而且两眼冒♦♦星♦♦星♦♦）

Worthy is the lamp who was slain,
Worth is the king who conquer the grave!

————-嗷嗷嗷~嗷嗷嗷~咩咩~———–

#1
Revelation 5: 7 Then He came and took the scroll out of the right hand of Him who sat on the throne. 7 那羔羊走上前去，从坐在宝座上的那位右手中接过书卷。
I was touched when I read the verse seven. 耶稣会从天父手中接过书卷，打开封印。这一切全权交在我们至高无上的主的儿子的手里，由公证公义的毫无瑕疵的他来为我们做审判。 我期待神的再次来临，我期待他的尊荣。我觉得这一段也表现出了天父和耶稣直接亲密的关系，因为讲解书里面说这本卷轴是两面都有写的，一般正式的卷轴是只记录一面，可见这是上帝自己的东西。但是他却信任的把这个卷轴放到了耶稣手上。

#2
Revelation 5: 2 …”谁有资格揭开那七个封印，打开那本书” 2 … “Who is worthy to open the Book, and to loose the sealed thereof?”
What drives the angel to ask for someone to open the scroll?
Worthy, more than ability and eligibility.
I was confused because I have no idea why it is important for someone to open the scroll. The Bible study handout explained that God’s plan is on the scroll, if the scroll remains seal, the future will never be revealed. Not a long time ago, I was asking God to take me and spare me from this world because I was tired of feeling guilty. But today, when I read this verse, I don’t have the urge to ask for the ruling. I have had invited God to be my ruler, and the peace has been with me since. Thank you, Lord, Amen!

#3
Why is the number seven being mentioned so many times?
God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh day. I remember there is an interesting research shows that seven is the most favorite number among all the numbers that are less than ten. Seven is such a magical number, but what does it represent in the Bible? The Bible study handout suggests that the number seven stands for perfection. In verse six, Jesus Christ was seen with seven horns and seven eyes, which implies His complete power. I don’t really understand why seven means completeness and perfection, but I think it is just like I don’t understand why “two” is two.

#4
Songs and worship. Look, Darling C, HARP!
The opinions about worship in the Handbook are: “ God can deepen your love for Himself through music, especially music that exalts Christ. Music expresses the language of the heart.” In verse nine, a new song was being sung. :DDDDD It is a new song to John, not necessary to me. Maybe I have sung it. :DDDDD
上次我在赶鬼的视频的那一篇就表达过我对音乐和媒体的看法 (3 JOHN 那天)，我是同意音乐和媒介对人的思想有影响这个观点，并且每个人被影响的程度不同。所以人们应该去关注并且选择自己要摄入的信息数量和信息质量。有的人的思想可能很容易被影响，所以不被建议去暴露在背道而驰的极端观念中。以我对自己的了解，我还算是蛮固执的一个人，我会去听，但对于和我观念不同的信仰上的意见，我一般都是左耳朵进右耳朵出，从来不走心。因为我不喜欢在别人的几句话下，就把自己曾经亲身经历的神的爱和陪伴拿出来重新说服自己。这个过程是很让我难过的。当神感动我陪伴我的时候，他从来没有对我产生过怀疑，而我在他眼中永远是我。神看见的我，至始至终，他的爱也不曾改变。为什么我要让自己陷入到质疑他或者重新证明他的困境中。有很多人因为这一点很排斥基督徒，他们会强调基督徒缺乏其他信息的摄取，缺乏思考。我认为这只是世界观的不同所导致的。当我有了神，我思考问题的方式就无法再把他忽视。对神的了解的越深，你就会越明显的感觉到自己的世界观不再和以前一样。就像是以弗所书里面说的，我们脱去了旧衣服，穿上了新衣裳。我们不再是以前的罪人，而是神的儿女。这样身份的变化会让人的心态也改变，所以思考问题的方式也逐渐更新。（当然最好上一学期SoKM，入门的更快：DDDDD）我赞成并且希望每个人都有自己的观念，并且每个人的观念都被尊重。

Revelation 4: ² 立刻，我在灵里，就看见有一个宝座，设立在天上，有一位坐在宝座上。² Immediately I was in the Spirit; and behold, a throne set in heaven, and One sat on the throne.

It is interesting to see the differences between translations because the way each language works. In Chinese, it is really confusing to me about “I in spirit (Chinglish translation)”. But in English, is “I was in Spirit.” Does that mean he received those letters when he was in the Sprit? He did not go anywhere, but his spirit witnesses these miracles. Also, it is hard to imagine what was described in this chapter. I regret that I searched for pictures that portrait this chapter. Even these pictures make sense, “spoiler alert” is never fun. There is a song in my mind: Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, here I am to say that you are my God. ♥

⇒ 那四个活物究竟是什么？麒麟？神龙？
从第四章看到关于这四只活物的描述，我就表示不能理解。现在更加是超出我的想象力，因为他们居然会说人话！

———-华丽的—-分割线———–

再吃华丽的Brunch的时候，讨论到了这个章节。Verse 5，温柔在别的版本有翻译成谦和。我记不起来是因为什么而讨论到了谦卑，引到了这段经文。以前读三到十根本搞不清是什么意思，现在感受到自己向往的那些品德在这里都列举着。

想起来了，是某人太自傲什么都要表演，我劝勉谦虚一点。 :DDDDD

Another three letters to three churches: the dead church (Sardis), the faithful church (Philadelphia), and the lukewarm church (Laodiceans).

Revelation 3: ²⁰ Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. ²¹ To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. ²⁰ 看哪！我站在门外敲门；如果有人听见我的声音就开门的，我要进到他那里去，我要跟他在一起，他也要跟我在一起吃饭。 ²¹ 得胜的，我必定赐他和我一同坐在我的宝座上，正像我得了胜和我父一同坐在他的宝座上一样。

When I read (out loud) these verses, I can feel the compassion from God towards the one who sat in front of me. The love flowed out from my inner made me want to cry. I don’t know how to explain. But I cry a lot when I look to God, I think my echo with the holy spirit is my tear. I want to pray for the person who sat in front of me, that God will soften her heart and let her be a better person she wishes to be. In Jesus name, amen!

———-回忆的分割线———–

因为不会静思，所以听不见主的旨意。因为太固执，听见了也没用办法听进去。和宾宾开车去芝加哥的路上，我们试着练习了一下静思。神给了我们一些话语和印象，但因为不熟悉神的“声音”，我们也不能很肯定哪些是来自神的。我很感谢宾宾帮我收拾了我乱七八糟的一堆东西，并且帮我搬过来，还给了我很好的关于房间布置的注意。这些改变让我对接下来的生活热血沸腾！芝加哥的节日气氛无比浓厚，很多人家的阳台上都挂着彩灯。只可惜外面温度15度，感觉像秋天转身变春天。

搬家前翻出来一张粉红的八月五号写的纸。我记不得当时是因为什么触动，让我写下来这些话：

Four letters to four churches: the loveless church (Ephesus), the persecuted church (Smyrna), the compromising church (Pergamos), and the corrupt church (Thyatira).

I think these churches also represents our Christian status that may change over time. Which category is your current status? It must be important that God repeated this verse at the end of every letter: 7 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” 圣灵对各教会所说的话，凡有耳朵的都应当听。

关于有耳可听的有福了，这个概念在圣经中出现很多次：这里有一个学习资源。也可以查看马太福音13:9。

妈妈说，要多吃青菜和水果，要多运动，不要老是躺在那里看电视。爸爸说，不要上陌生人的车，不要贪小便宜。天父说：凡是有耳的，就应当听。

When I read over this chapter once, I wonder why God always has something against us. In Chinese, the translation is 责备，blame. Isn’t He a loving God? But when I read over for the second time, I realized why. God is pleased when we are following Him and doing good. However, He is the God, who could not bear any sin because God has no darkness. How can light bear darkness inside of it? Even God loves us and forgives our sin, He wants us to understand that it is precious to live in righteousness and fully immerse in His love. I pray that when we are tempted, our Father will touch our heart and teach us the priceless gift of being His son and daughter. Thus, we can turn away from the sins and temptations. I pray that we have the power from God to be strong, faithful, and joyful. I pray that Holy Spirit will comfort our heart when we worship Him in laughs and tears. God bless you. I pray in the Name of Jesus Christ, the powerful name, AMEN!

———–♥ 跟我一起单曲循环吧 ♥————

我很希望自己能够有一天，能像她这样自由自在的用歌声赞美神。我很向往在这方面的学习，但天资不够，真是不甘心。

<當祢找到我 When You Found Me> 关于这首歌的创作

詞/曲：葛兆昕

當祢找到我，在生命 十字路口
祢靠近我，祢擁抱我，從此祢不放手
過去的種種，全然交在祢手中
祢醫治我，祢恢復我，從此我不放手

夜再黑，心再疲憊，我仰望祢至聖榮面，我已決定永不後退！
祢作為，何等榮美，祢大能在我心間，我願一生緊緊跟隨！

我跟隨 祢從高山到低谷
我跟隨 祢即使荊棘滿佈
縱然面對挑戰，也有眼淚，感到疲憊
我要掙脫纏累，永遠不後悔。

在祢翅膀蔭下我得保護
祢話語使我生命得堅固
祢應許不搖動，自始至終，永不落空
未來在祢的手中，我不忘初衷（當祢找到我）

I want to make a point today.

Read the bible of the day took me 5 mins. Twice, 10 mins. Look into the details, 10 mins. Making some notes, 10 mins.

If you have 10 mins, you may be sitting in the restroom, you may be having your breakfast (I am sorry that I put these two events in one sentences), you may be stretching your legs or doing any exercises, you can read the bible of the day. You can find out what God is trying to say to you.

Matthew: ⁷ “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

Let’s start today.

——————华丽的你懂的——————

特比强调一下，点击Play之后不准笑。⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ <-害羞

The footnote specifically explains “Asia was a Roman province in what is now western Turkey.” 我就说John怎么可能跑的那么远，不至于啊。

I like this verse:  Revelation 1: ⁸ “I am the Alpha and the Omega—the beginning and the end,” says the Lord God. “I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come—the Almighty One.”

Revelation 1:12-16 describes the Son of Man in John’s eyes. I thought the sharp two-edged sword would be in His left hand, how could it came from of His mouth. Also, if the Son of Man’s left hand was empty and His right hand was holding seven stars, How could He still be able to lay His RIGHT hand on John? 而且为啥要用过去式，不是将来要发生的事情么。我觉得英文已经handle不了这里复杂的时态了 :DDDDD

From (α, Α) to (ω, Ω)

Jude 1: 4…这些人把我们神的恩典当作放纵情欲的借口，并且否认独一的主宰我们的主耶稣基督。⁴ I say this because some ungodly people have wormed their way into your churches, saying that God’s marvelous grace allows us to live immoral lives. The condemnation of such people was recorded long ago, for they have denied our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

如果有勇气把神的恩典当做借口，那不应该用 “并且” 这个连词吧？因为否认的人应该不会觉得神存在，更何况觉得他有恩典呢？但如果从另一个角度来理解，这些人心中没有神，他们想让自己安心于自己所做的事，但良心总是不安。于是他们教跟随主的人堕落，做他们所做的在上帝眼中不好的事。他们所用的伎俩，就是说，上帝是原来你的神所以你犯罪都没关系的。有的基督徒就听信了。但因为这些人心中没有神，他们不在意他们自己说的话。

嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯嗯。我还是觉得这两句话连不上。%>_<%

Jude 1: 5-16

如果说一个好的论证要有足够多的例子和逻辑上的推敲, 那这封信就做到了。

Jude 1: ¹⁶ 这些人常发牢骚，怨天尤人，顺着自己的私欲行事，口说夸张的话，为了利益就不惜阿谀奉承。¹⁶ These people are grumblers and complainers, living only to satisfy their desires. They brag loudly about themselves, and they flatter others to get what they want.

因为这些人心里没有神？我觉得在这个世代要是想跳开这些讨好人的环节，最后落得的都是自己吃苦的困境。怎么做才是一个合适的度？我这段时间给学院里的老师发邮件前，虽然心中有苦闷，但我都先向神祷告。我问他，我不想用一种负面情绪来写邮件，我要怎么做。然后我再写，写出来的即便是对再难以面对的对象，都是感恩的话。对我现在来说，我再拍马屁也没什么意义，而且我也是不赞同为了达到目的而去拍马屁的。我觉得人应该堂堂正正，虽说世上有不公平，可能会吃亏。但是在神的眼中，我做的是对的，我能得到他的赞许，我能对得起自己，才是我最大的收获。我觉得我能委婉的表示感谢，其实是在感谢神。因为我感谢神给了我这个结果。我感谢神让这个人帮我强迫我去面对不敢做的改变。亲爱的天父，我在这里为我的弟兄姐妹们祷告，我愿你带给他们平安的心，对你坚信不疑的跟随，期盼你所赐的恩典和应许。我祷告希望你能打开他们的眼睛，让他们在困难中能看到你的荣光。让他们知道在困难中，有你，耶和华我们的神，在我们的身后，你是坚固的磐石，你是我们渴慕的泉水。我深深的在这里感谢你，感谢你的爱，你的陪伴。谢谢你。以上祷告是奉主耶稣基督名求，阿门💗

¹⁷ 但你们呢，亲爱的，你们要记住我们主耶稣基督的使徒从前所说的话。 ¹⁸ 他们曾经对你们说：“末世必有好讥笑人的人，随着自己不敬虔的私欲行事。” ¹⁹ 这些人分党结派，是属血气的，没有圣灵。 ²⁰ 但你们呢，亲爱的，你们要在至圣的信仰上建立自己，在圣灵里祷告， ²¹ 要保守自己在　神的爱中，仰望我们主耶稣基督的怜悯，直到永生。¹⁷ But you, my dear friends, must remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ predicted. ¹⁸ They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. ¹⁹ These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them.

^23 …又有些人你们要战战兢兢地怜悯他们，连染上情欲污渍的衣服也应当憎恶。 ^23 … Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives.

Question: I have no idea why I should pity them but hate their clothes. Does that mean we should be showing mercy to them, but at the same time, recognized that what they did were sinful?

3 John 1: ¹¹ Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen 3 John 1: God. [ ¹¹ 亲爱的朋友，要从善，不要从恶。行善的人属于上帝，做恶的人从来就不认识上帝。]

若没有神，单凭人的良知，真的能把善恶分的那么清楚么？在神的眼中，没有灰色地带，只有公义和良善。

——怎么能少了华丽的分割线呢——-

周日的信息中，陈老师说到了亚伯拉罕，信心之父，带着自己儿子上山献燔祭的故事。在最后的时刻，神没有让他去献上他的儿子，却献上了自己的儿子耶稣基督。在同样的那样的一个山上，神的儿子扛着自己的十字架，就像是以撒扛着柴木，为我们的罪，赎上了自己。我很喜欢他讲的这一段，感谢神。

本来是觉得还没有到时候在这里Po我这几天看的视频 （Darling C 和 Mr Darling C 沉迷不已的TB Joshua），但看到这个视频的最后，这位弟兄总结的讯息，我很赞赏也真的觉得值得推荐。Surely the guy in the video prepared his speech; I would do the same. But it does not mean his story is a lie. I remember when I am going to give testimony in front of the crowd, I double check what I am going to share. Because I only want to share to an extent, that is comfortable for me and the audience. I am not going to expose my old past completely.

Here are some highlights from the video.

27:33 I fasted for a month but when I got there, nothing happened; there was no power. I got Frustrated. I was depressed. The enemy used that as an opportunity to come into my life and channelled me into doing other things to keep myself happy. (Does it sound familiar to you?)

• Demon went to his dream and taught him bad things
• He wore cloth with symbols and signs of the demon

33: 05 They influence your subconscious. Before your know what is going on, you will start seeing them everywhere you go, anything you think. Whatever anyone does you would say, “That is the sign.” You start seeing demons everywhere you go. (I am so surprised by what he said. It is almost the same as what my friend who was being demonized told me. )

35:30 It was the evil spirit that made me do it. I couldn’t have done it out of my own, it was the evil spirit that forced me. Each time I did it, I would regret. I kept crying: “God, deliver me, save me from this. When am I going to stop this?” But I would still find myself doing those things without knowing what was the cause of it. (I SAID EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID, the quotation part, for some sins I did! But I am not sure if it is the evil spirit or my weak consciousness lead me to sin. I don’t want to throw all responsibilities to the demons. People make mistakes, even Christians. But with repeated and repented mistakes, we might doubt if the evil spirit is behind it.)

The message, in the end, is similar to what Darling C told me before.

38:10 Mind the kind of things you download into your cellphone. Do away with wordly music. Do away with anything that does not have the symbol of God on it. Now in my phone, I do not have any wordly music; I deleted everything that concerns the enemy. All I have on my phone now, is Gospel music, things that speak to me more about God, that bring me closer to God. (Me too!!! I agree with what he said in the video. I think music is really influential. When you listen to sad music, you become moody. Why should I put myself in that mood, why shouldn’t I seek Joy and Hope. 折磨人的东西就避开，何必让自己煎熬。于是乎，我把微博和 Instagram都给删了，刷那些东西还不如读点书，涨点知识 :DDDDD 感谢神）

After you are delivered, be careful, no one should use what you has said and done in the past against you.